“Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want. It is the belief that God will do what is right.” -Max Lucado
Tonight I had a group of girls with me after FCA to go to Taco Bell for 4th meal (or first meal for me- i was soooo hungry). I got to the drive-thru and told the woman “I have 5 orders” and she was like, I’m sorry, I can only take two at a time. So we placed two orders for three girls, combining an order and then I said I’d just drive back around. On our way back around there was a man in an oversized white truck trying to cut in the drive-thru line ahead of me, and WITH MY CHRISTIAN MUSIC ON in the background, I kept inching forward. He got ahead of me anyway and I annoyingly honked, but flagged him through and we made awkward eye contact. He looked like he had probably had a rough day, a white male in his late 30’s with dark hair and bags under his eyes, honestly coming across as harsh and unfriendly. The girls in the car were like, just let him go, it’s just taco bell, whatever. And that made me think…. “Ya’ll, what if this is one of those things where he does a random act of kindness and pays for our food? What if he’s sent here from God to test me? What if HE IS Jesus?” My friends chuckled at my quick flip of emotions from honking to hopeful… “doubt it, there’s no telling what he has in that truck or what he’s going through (true) he probably isn’t thinking about anything other than getting through that Taco Bell line as quick as possible.” Well, the conversation quickly turned to other random girl talk, my roommates wedding, our FCA meeting, class tomorrow, etc. When we got to the pick-up window to pay, the lady at the window said “oh, and I just wanted to let you know that the gentleman in front of you paid for cinnamon twist for you” I had chills. It wasn’t a large act, but it was an act, and the whole car was like, oh my goodness, Kaitlin, you called it.
But it’s not about the cinnamon twist. It’s not about the random act of kindness or even how maybe he thought this was being fair or even since I let him in front of me. It’s about doubting him, and then about having faith.
Faith is something that I rarely TRULY think about. I hear the word so often, and use it on so many occasions that I have ceased to remember what it actually means. I dictionary.com’d it and found these results
1.confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability.
2.belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact.
3.belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims.
4.belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someoneconcerning honesty.
5.a system of religious belief: the Christian faith; the Jewish faith.
I came to a big realization tonight. It took God putting this man in front of me at Taco Bell to open my eyes to the idea of faith. My whole life I have thought of myself as “average.” I was never a bad kid, but I wasn’t the best kid either. I didn’t really push myself to stand out from the crowd. I concentrated heavily on just fitting in. On just being comfortable. On doing what was easy. I dreamed big as a child, but when my dreams stopped coming true and the pain associated with entering middle school, boys, appearance, etc started setting in as I grew up I stopped expecting people to do nice things for me, I mean, why would they anyway? I was just me. I wasn’t anything special. This man tonight brought to my attention that I had lost the ability to trust, I lost confidence in other people because I expected to just be let down.
But that’s just the thing. I’m going to be let down. PEOPLE are going to let me down. God is not going to let me down. I have FAITH in God, I have faith in Jesus Christ, my savior, who was crucified and died for the sins of the world. The whole world. This man in this truck SURPRISED me tonight. He reminded me that it is okay to seek the good, not to be naive or foolish, but to be reminded just about one word. Faith. If I have faith in The Lord, than the Lord will provide. In Hebrews 11 the chapter is titled “By Faith” – Hebrews 11:1 ESV reads “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”
In having faith I can rest assured that Jesus Christ is indeed my savior, and that this is the truth for ME. I can stand confidently and proclaim this without hesitation. I can have trust and hope and confidence in my friends, in my mentors, in my professors, my parents, etc. But I have FAITH in Jesus Christ. Because Jesus is the one who is giving me eternal life. While I am here on this earth I can only strive to further God’s kingdom, to glorify him and to live a Christlike life to the best of my ability. I will stumble and I will fall short. The people around me will let me down. This is not to be cynical, but to be true. There are good people in this world, but my God in Heaven is greater. I have faith in that.