If you wake up in the morning excited to go to work than it’s not really a job, it’s simply where you are meant to be. Two weeks ago I had no idea what my summer would look like. I was nervous about jumping in to a new situation and I wasn’t sure what to expect.
Turns out that my nervousness was a silly emotion to have. Day 1 I immediately knew that this was going to be an amazing summer. I met “the other Kaitlynn” who is the daycamp director for Capabilities and then my boss, Amber, at the church on Monday morning and waited for the kids to get there.
Our kids are the BEST! They each have amazing personalities and their hugs and laughs and smiles completely melt my heart. Though it may seem challenging trying to rally and guide anywhere from 3 to 8 special needs kids, it is all worth it when you learn something that makes them content, or when they come up to you and grab your hand to let you know that they love and appreciate you.
From the very beginning I felt 100% comfortable with my kids and following Kaitlynn’s lead, however, I realize that everyday is going to be different and that I am learning soooo much more every single day.
My whole life I have been so uptight and felt the need to always know what is going to go on when. I felt like by knowing what was coming, than I could sort of control the outcome of certain situations. Even when I worked at Holy Angels I still tried to maintain control of the set schedule and order. I still showed up to work each day with a full face of make-up, I still tried to control my body and my looks through my eating disordered habits.
This past week at Capabilities Daycamp I have gone to work make-up-less, without washing my hair some days. My kids still loved on me. Kaitlynn and Amber still seemed to want to work with me. God still loves me.
I feel myself growing closer and closer to God SOOOO much just in this past week. I have been so inspired and I am so grateful for the opportunity I have been given to work with Capabilities. For the first time in my life I feel like I am exactly where I need to be.
Not once have I felt like I wasn’t good enough for this job or that I wasn’t capable. I have accepted that not everyday is going to be perfect, but there is still something amazing about everyday. Maybe these kids can see my inner beauty? I know that I try to see theirs. I love them so so much.
When you work with individuals with special needs you learn to put others needs before your own, but I don’t even think about that. I kind of forget about anything else going on in my life/ anywhere else in the world and I put all of my focus into the then and now of Capabilities. And that is an amazing feeling.
Here’s an example of our daily schedule
10:30- 11:00 Bathroom snack and water break
11:00-12:00 Fine motor skills (craft/art/puzzles)
12:00-12:30 Half day dismissal/ Full day lunch
12:30-1:00 Clean up/ Bathroom / Transition to exercise
1:00-1:45 Exercise (Warm up, Stretch, Yoga, Weights)
1:45-2:00 Fitness Activity
2:00-2:30 Music movement
2:30-3:30 Bible story time; learning through active drama
3:30-4:15 Game Time
4:15-4:30 Cool Down/ prepare to leave
I feel as if Kaitlynn’s brains and mine are somehow on the same wavelength most of the time, like it’s truly as if most of the time we think or go to do the same things at the same time. Not only is that cool while working with someone, but it’s really cool because I think that after this summer is over that i’m going to have an amazing friend out of this.
I was listening to Britt Nicole’s song on my way home yesterday and it just hit home. Love it.
“Gold”
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You were walking on the moon, now you’re feeling low
What they said wasn’t true, you’re beautiful
Sticks and stones break your bones, I know what you’re feeling
Words like those won’t steal your glow, you’re one in a million
Whatever you’ve been told, you’re worth more than gold
So hold your head up high, it’s your time to shine
From the inside out it shows, you’re worth more than gold
Well everybody keeps score, afraid you’re gonna lose
Just ignore they don’t know the real you
All the rain in the sky can’t put out your fire
Of all the stars out tonight, you shine brighter
This, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world
Whatever you’ve been told, you’re worth more than gold
So hold your head up high, it’s your time to shine
From the inside out it shows, you’re worth more than gold
So don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not loved
And don’t let anybody tell you that you’re not enough
Yeah there are days that we all feel like we’re messed up
But the truth is that we’re all diamonds in the rough
So don’t be ashamed to wear your crown
You’re a king you’re a queen inside and out
You glow like the moon, you shine like the stars
This is for you, wherever you areThis, this is for all the girls, boys all over the world
Whatever you’ve been told, you’re worth more than gold
So hold your head up high,
It’s your time to shine
From the inside out it shows, you’re worth more than goldSo don’t be ashamed to wear your crown
You’re a king you’re a queen inside and out
faithandpearls 